Gray Divorce: Why Older Couples Are Ending Their Marriages

Divorces involving couples who are in their 50’s or “gray divorce” is on the rise. Pew Research shows a doubling in the divorce rate among this older subset between 1990 and 2008. Women tend to initiate the process more than men and it’s more common in the southern and western U.S., according to other statistics.

Older divorcing couples fundamentally divorce for the same reasons/causes any couple ends their marriage. The evolving circumstances of life such as an empty nest or approaching retirement as well as societal changes including that women are much more financially independent than in past generations and that divorce is well-understood and accepted, undoubtedly also play into many older Americans’ decision to get divorced.

Most divorcing couples wrestle with legal, financial and emotional concerns. In gray divorces, the implications of divorce on the parties’ financial situation can have significant impacts. Among them are that the clock continues to tick and so there are also fewer years left to work. This can be particularly true for the spouse, often the wife, who sacrificed her career to stay home, raise the children, and support her spouse’s career.

In Florida, the division of marital property (including the home, the bank, retirement and investment accounts and the mortgage, credit card and other debt) known as equitable distribution, starts with the presumption that marital property should be divided equally among the parties. While the property division can be unequal, the starting assumption for anyone contemplating divorce should be that the parties’ wealth will be reduced by half. This inevitably also impacts the parties’ standard of living.

If after the parties’ marital property is divided, one spouse can show a need and that the other spouse has the ability to pay, alimony can be sought. Among the various types of available alimony is durational alimony (permanent alimony was abolished in 2023 in Florida), which allows for periodic alimony to be awarded for a period of time tied to the length of the marriage. The need is capped at 35% of the difference in the parties’ income.

Practical factors, however, undercut the seeming significance of durational alimony awards, particularly in gray divorce situations. A modification in durational alimony can be sought upon the paying spouse’s retirement leaving the recipient spouse with less alimony. Beyond that, an alimony obligation ends upon the death of either spouse.
Low-earning spouses may be able to make up some of the financial impacts of divorce by seeking higher social security benefits based on their former spouse’s earnings history.

Divorced spouses who were married for at least 10 years and who’ve been divorced for at least two years can be eligible for as much as half of their former spouse’s social security benefits.

For those contemplating divorce later in life, we welcome the chance to help you navigate through this chapter in your life with understanding, knowledge and skill. Call Luhrsen Goldberg LLC to set up a consultation.